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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?